Thankful for the good and bad experiences for making me wiser

Hi everybody. This week we are looking at the subject of bullying and how to move forward from a bad experience.

According to Wikipedia bullying is defined as:

‘the use of force, coercion, or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. The behaviour is often repeated and habitual.’

There are people in our society that have committed suicide because of constant bullying.

The circumstances of bullying affect people, if pushed people sometimes are beyond coming back so please think about what you are doing and the repercussions. Some people can take it and others cannot.

If you are a bully please think about what you are doing.

Reasons for bullying

Its difficult to justify any form of bullying or come up with a good reason for it.  There shouldn’t be reason/s whatsoever that justify bullying. But as we know bullying in the modern era is very common.

Bullies are good at positioning themselves. They have a way of making themselves look good and making the other person appear bad. Bullies surround themselves with the right kind of people/ friends that they can easily manipulate.

Bullying occurs in different sectors of our communities, in schools, work, sport and almost anywhere.

Yes, we are different in many ways, gender, shape, ethnicity, looks, and so on but our differences, shortfalls, weaknesses or what we lack should not be used as a tool against us.

Weight: Weight bullying is very common amongst young people and adults alike, and those in the public eye like celebrities are targets.

  • Your looks and your weight should not define a person.

What looks normal to you and me is seen by some as ugly.

People who know personal stuff about others may also use that knowledge against someone they know. Maybe you were planning a life with somebody and it didn’t work out. Nowadays, your personal business can spread quickly through social media platforms.

Jealousy and envy is another common reason to spread nasty stuff and messages about another person.

There is no reason why bullying should occur, its just a nasty trait.

I remember a girl at my school who used to stamp on my feet each time I had new school shoes at the beginning of the school term, breaking the buckle.  I would return home with damaged shoes. She always started a fight for no reason and made sure one way or the other I was caught up in that fight. Sometimes I was called all sort of names and nicknames. I only got my breakthrough when I knocked out one of my attackers in a school fight. Of course I was filled with remorse when I saw the blue eyes and damage I had caused on her face the following day.

We live in advanced societies and there are better ways of dealing with bullying instead of using violence.

Unfortunately, advancement in technology is used to spread and channel bullying messages through social media platforms.

By the time you finish class or school somebody has posted whatever they want about you on social media.

But you can fight back.

Identify the bully

Bullies are normal people, may be coming from an unhappy place or a happy place.

My previous article identified that people who hate others more are normal people. Some of these individuals are people we admire and whom we don’t expect such behaviour from.

But do not be deceived, no level of education, class, title, position can change a person’s heart. One changes because they identify whatever is wrong with them and choose to change.

If you are being bullied:

  • Just learn to get on with your life.
  • forgive and live your life the best way you can.
  • Dont let anybody steal your joy.
  • They are not worth it.
  • Don’t even try to make sense of it all because bullies are what they are, bullies. Until love changes them inside out you cannot change them.
  • Just enjoy you life.

Take Action

What keeps you going through triumph and hardship?

Being bullied makes you wander, ‘why me, or why cant I be happy?   You question yourself over and over again and it is a very stressful exercise to get an appropriate answer.

  • Remember you can change lives.
  • You can talk.
  • Do presentations in schools.
  • share your experience.

Some of the famous people we see have been through what we are going through, constantly facing bullying. A lot of celebrities are identifying with us and sharing their experiences.

  • You are not alone.
  • Stand up to bullying.
  • Don’t keep it to yourself.
  • Tell somebody what is happening.
  • Tell two three people or more.
  • Stop being passive take action.
  • Expose it.
  • Turn those strategies into a happy place.
  •  you and everyone else can stop it.

Whatever has been said about you,

  • Learn to love yourself and with time you can love others.
  • Its okay to be selfish.
  • If its a diet you need look after yourself first. Diet yourself out first.
  • So you  are taking your anxiety pills, that’s okay because you need to sort yourself out first.

We all get illnesses and we may need professional help, and yes when we are better we move on.

Make a difference and choose to change lives.

Good therapy: Look outside yourself and do stuff first for yourself and others. When you see other people’s problems you’ll realise that you are not alone or lonely as you feel.

Saving others help in a lot of ways.

In conclusion, when all is said and done and you meet your bully in later life, amazingly they are a complete different person altogether, kinder and nicer. You on the other hand you’re still hurting. Therefore its not worth it to hold on to bad stuff.

  • Live your life the best way you can. Be a good friend, son or daughter, sister or brother, grandparent and parent. Be the best you can be.



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