I wrote in one of my early articles that no man is an island. One way or the other we are all connected. We need each other more than we can imagine. We may be different in colour, ethnicity, gender, beliefs and so on, but at the end of the day we are all human beings and experience the same level of emotions.
The purpose of my article is looking at those of us using social media to get back at close relations like guardians; people we feel wronged us in the past. Smart advice: keep your door open regardless of where we end up in life or how successful we become. As we do well in life and succeed there is no harm in being polite and kind: and to be thought of in a good way by others.
Social media is a very powerful tool
Social media is a very powerful tool that can be used to educate, inform and entertain. Its up to us what to choose to put out there a choice between bad and good. Nowadays its become instant to learn about what is happening in the world, wars, conflict, human rights abuses, poverty, climate change, cooking recipes, technical stuff and so on. We read a lot of celebrity news, unfortunately living a life in the spotlight means you are under constant surveillance and scrutiny from trolls, media and others.
It is not just celebrities that are being targeted but everyday folk using face book, twitter, Instagram and other such channels.
Look at me now
Some of us post photographs of where we used to be in the past and where we are now. Some of the posts is meant to inspire. For instance showing someone who has lost a lot of weight before and after photos. Others also show how good looking they look after a cosmetic work bust, bum surgery or similar work. Nothing wrong with that if that makes one happy.
Some of us unfortunately are using social media platforms to turn against relatives especially our guardians But posting stuff insulting people that have helped us in the past when we were stranded is rather rich. There is a trend of social media users showing off to relatives or guardians on how successful they have become.
Success and positive works is all good, nothing wrong with that if it is meant to inspire. Taking a dig towards those who have helped us in the past I find it premature thing to do. But often people start writing about how tough their upbringing was and how certain people mistreated them.
I remember reading something about a young lady who felt that she had been mistreated by her guardian. She explains that her guardian and employer at the time was tough on her and gave her tough chores than she did to her biological children.
I am not saying this is okay if it happened that way. Although this may look unfair probably this is the very thing that has made this young lady toughen up and moulded her into the very success she has become.
‘I cooked for all of them’, or ‘I was the help, cleaning up after everyone’, are often examples given by those of us who have been looked after by relatives other than our biological parents. Although that may be the case remember that the so called guardian gave you a place to stay, you had a roof over your head, probably went to school, learnt to stand on your feet. All these are skills that help in later life regardless where one ends up.
Instead of frowning down on your past, I am a great believer in gratitude, politeness and good behaviour. You may be successful today but there is no harm in going back to that guardian and say thank you for assisting me in my time of need.
If you were not abused in any form but felt things were a bit unfair that’s okay. Yes look at you now: you earned it. If there was no form of abuse then its okay because you’ve turned out okay. Go talk face to face wo that person and be honest about your feelings and what happened, and believe me you will feel better afterwards. All the deep seated hurt, whatever feelings you have are better said face to face. Instead of using twitter or face book to enrage, instead:
- Go back and bless that individual/ person or persons
- Gratitude and appreciate
- Cover a need in their life if you can afford it
- Dont damage somebody because you were damaged
- Be a helper
You cant hide success. If one makes it in life its usually out there for everyone to see. You cant hide success, a happy marriage or good thing. Life has a way of shouting out one’s achievements even when one wants to be discreet. Success has a way of coming out,
We dont need validation from somebody to feel good or important.
Success often attracts both negative and positive scrutiny from people especially on social networks. Remember that.
Dont burn your boats/bridges
I grew up hearing proverbs such as ‘dont do something that will make it impossible for you to return’.
‘Be careful whose fingers you tread on as you go up the ladder of success because you will meet them again on your way down’.
When you are leaving what you may consider a toxic environment, leave in amicably. Leave the door open to come back even though you know you may never return.
It doesn’t matter how successful we are or how many friends we have: let us not forget our beginnings.
Most of us grew up hearing words of wisdom and proverbs that helped us to grow up into responsible individuals.
- Keep the humility.
- We dont need validation from somebody to feel good or important.
- Mend bridges and heal rifts.
- Regardless of your success or importance in life: be the one who reaches out.
Likewise you must treat not only important people but little people well because you may need them in the future.There is power in communication and let us be wise about what we are putting out there.
References:
Galatians 5: 22-23 fruits of the spirit ‘joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self control’